Going to work after maternity leave: how can mother and child avoid stress?
Maternity leave ends? Need to go to work? Horror! This is how the situation seems to many moms. This is stressful for mom, because she no longer represents a day without her beloved child. Survive this moment with minimal losses is possible with a clear understanding of the need for what is happening. First of all, the mother should explain to herself why she should change her usual way of life and what consequences she would expect.
Mom’s moral preparation for going to work after maternity leave: “yes” or “no”?
In order to more clearly present the situation, mother needs to write on a piece of paper in a column the advantages from entering a stable job and the disadvantages that arise with ways to solve them.
What to write in the first column? First of all, it is a stable income, which will ensure the financial independence of the mother. The availability of funds makes it possible to realize old dreams – go on a trip, buy a new apartment, arrange a child in a prestigious kindergarten, etc. Going to work will allow mom to get more communication with people, expand the range of interests and knowledge.
In the second column can get such minuses:
Parting with the child for the day. Solution: the grandmother will look after the baby during the day, and in the evening you can play with him in your free time. It is much more useful for a child to spend two or three hours with her mother than to sit next to her when she cannot play with him due to busy household chores.
Not enough time to farm. Solution: leave culinary delights for the weekend, clean up with households or use the services of a housekeeper.
Going to work after maternity leave a woman involuntarily creates guilt in front of her family and child. To alleviate the situation will help the following arguments:
First of all, a mother is a separate person, and she needs her own space. It is normal when a woman needs to do something for herself.
Constant presence near the child causes the accumulation of fatigue, as a result of which depression develops. Lack of the opportunity to be alone with mom provokes anger, which is not good for the child. When a mother goes to work, the rest of the family (dad, grandparents) spend more time with the child, which is useful for his overall development.
If the child is healthy and develops according to age, it is sometimes useful to leave him without his mother, even for a short time. No need to look for the negative in this. The child must develop an independent personality, and it is not possible to do this under the constant supervision of the mother. Convince yourself that your child is already big enough to handle the situation. Giving some personal space to the baby, you gradually accustom him to independence, and the easier it will be for you to let him go. After some time, the child himself will be engaged in himself, without the presence of the mother.
In summing up, it is worth remembering the words of psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott: “The ideal mother is able to satisfy all the needs of the crumbs at the moment of their appearance. Then the baby would be deprived of the possibility of knowing the surrounding World. He would not even need to learn to speak. ”
Preparing a child for a new stage in life
If you want to send your child to kindergarten, you need to start going to the group a couple of months before the date of leaving for work. In the morning, you will not be in a hurry and nervous, and the child will gradually adapt to the changing environment. In kindergarten, he will be able to stay first for a couple of hours, after increasing the time until noon, and a week later the child is left until the evening.
If the child remains in the daytime under the supervision of a grandmother or nanny, it is important that they also appear in advance, before the mother leaves for work. The first days the nanny plays with the child in your presence, then the baby stays with her for a short time (you can go shopping), and after a few days you can safely leave for the whole day.
The child will be prepared in advance for the mother to go to work. Be sure to say that all moms and dads work and that’s fine. Explain the reasons for going to work, give an example of friends and their children. It is useful to read books and watch cartoons on this topic. The child is well aware of the need for a situation in the game, so play the scenario of visiting a kindergarten, playing with dolls. The child learns to adequately perceive what is happening, and during the game you will hear what worries him.
Preparing the mother for the “working mode”
Change the daily routine for the child and yourself. Most likely, he will have to wake up earlier than usual in order to have time to go to the kindergarten, which means that evening sleep should begin early. To get used to the new regime painlessly, you need to start to adhere a couple of weeks before going to work.
Consider organizing the household. Cleaning can be done every day, but little by little, or postpone it until the weekend, family members will help you, or it will be easier to use the services of a housewife. If you need laundry services, dry cleaning, find out in advance their location and schedule.