10 tips for successful parenting
It is important to develop in the child internal motivation to increase self-esteem and help him feel loved. If our children are brought up in this vein, then they will not need drugs, weapons or sex for self-affirmation.
We offer you tips based on proven methods of education:
(1) Quality of communication
Your child’s self-assessment largely depends not on how much time you spend with him, but on the quality of your communication. Due to the big employment, communicating with the child, we often think about other matters, instead of focusing our attention completely on talking to him. For a child, even negative attention is better than ignoring. If you are fully focused on the child while communicating with him, he will be less ugly.
In addition, it is important to understand that feelings are not right or wrong. They are what they are. Therefore, when a child says to you: “Mom, you never play with me” (despite the fact that you just played together) – she expresses her true feelings. It’s best to agree with her at this time: “Yes, I feel that we are not spending enough time together.”
(2) Say less, act more
According to statistics, we give our children more than 2000 instructions a day! Not surprisingly, they become “deaf” to our words. Instead of quibbling or shouting at the child, ask yourself: “What can I do in this case?”. Actions work better than words.
(3) Give children the opportunity to feel their power.
Children need to feel strong. Giving them to feel it, you reduce the number of conflicts in the family. To help children feel their strength and value, you can consult with them on various issues, ask them to cook dinner or help you with shopping.
Even a two-year-old child can wash plates, vegetables, or place napkins on the table. Often we do all the work for our children, because it’s easier for us, but as a result, children do not feel useful.
(4) Learning from my mistakes
Ask yourself what will happen if I do not interfere in this situation. For example, if your daughter forgot her lunch at home, then do not bring her to school. Thus, you teach her to find a way out of this situation and take responsibility for herself. If we intervene when not needed, then we deprive children of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. By allowing them to see the consequences of their actions, we avoid unnecessary quibbles and reminders.
(5) Ask: “What is my child trying to tell me? ”
Children who are ugly, often try to convey to us their unmet needs. Perhaps your child feels tired, bored, lonely, or disliked. Children whose needs are met are much less likely to behave.
(6) Avoid conflicts.
If your child makes you hysterical, angry or does not speak respectfully to you, it is best to leave, telling the child that you will be in another room when he wants to communicate normally. Say it calmly, in a distant voice.
(7) Separate the assessment of the act from the characteristics of the child’s personality
Do not tell your child that he is bad – it reduces his self-esteem. Help your child realize that you love him, but do not want to put up with his bad behavior. In order for a child to develop an adequate self-esteem, he must know that he is loved regardless of his behavior. Do not try to motivate the child, depriving him of your love. If you have doubts, then ask yourself whether your educational measures help develop a child’s self-esteem?
(8) Be both kind and demanding
Imagine that you told your 5-year-old daughter that if she didn’t dress by a certain time, you would still put her in the car and she would have to dress in the car or in the garden. What will you do if your daughter does not dress by the due time? To ensure that the educational impact is effective, be consistent and follow what was promised, gently but implicitly putting your daughter in the car.
(9) Wise education
Most parents try to control the situation as soon as possible. We are looking for an expedient solution. This leads to the fact that children become spoiled and unorganized. But if we learn to educate our children, presenting what we would like them to see in the future, we will be wiser in our actions. For example, physical punishment teaches children aggression to get what they want.
(10) Be consistent throughout
If you have agreed with your child not to buy sweets at the store this time, then do not fall for his requests and demands, despite tears and offenses. Your child will learn to respect you more if you do what you say and behave consistently.