Put on the first number
Our traditional upbringing is built on the fact that a child can, and sometimes needs to be spanked for offense. Or – put in the corner. Or – whip a towel lower back. Well, who did not go through this in childhood? But with the punishment of children, things are not so simp.
Slaps and cuffs show the child that beating is normal. Especially when a big one hits a small one, a strong one hits a weak one. Children begin to think that any problem can be solved with the help of force, and in the future they will resort to it in relations with their peers, spouses, and their own children. And you should not justify yourself, they say, basically I am a loving and understanding parent, and sometimes I can spank my child. This rare slap can be remembered much stronger than a thousand hugs.
Do not hit the child when angry. If you wait out the moment of a surge of emotions, then you will not even want to spank your child.
“I am bad?”
In families where children are treated with warmth and care, cracks can cause strong contradictions in a child: once I have been spanked, it means that I am bad ?! And even if you then embrace the baby, he will not forget that you hit him. If physical punishment is repeated, the thought will take root that he is weak and defenseless.
Depreciation of parents
Parents, who have given free rein to their hands in a fit of anger, lose not only the respect of the child, but also the respect for themselves. And beatings destroy parent-child relationships, create a distance between adults and children, because the child is hard to love the one who beats him.
The more often you hit a child, the worse it behaves. It turns out a vicious circle: the kid committed a misdemeanor, was spanked, was upset, offended and got into trouble again. Beat again?
In the still waters …
Children who are often fed with birch porridge grow up with low self-esteem and suppressed aggression, because they consider physical punishment unfair. And even if the child does not show his anger, he tears and throws inside himself. From such a kid can grow a lonely misanthrope, a husband who regularly beats his wife, and even a cruel maniac.
Effective methods, how to raise and not to beat the child
From the 1st year: praise your child for good behavior and clearly explain what he did well. Then he will understand how to behave, and try not to deviate from this “norm”.
From 2 years: ignore if a child cries out and pens. Noticing that no one pays attention to this behavior, he will eventually end the hysteria.
From 3 years: use the so-called “respite”. Give your child at least a few minutes to think about their behavior, and only then talk to him about this topic and discuss how to correct the situation in the future.
From 4 years old and later: let the child establish the cause-and-effect relationship of his misconduct and consequences. For example, if he forgot his bike on the street, he may lose his walk with friends.