Good intentions … Errors in education
As they grow up, each person realizes that life is not so cloudless. Other people’s rudeness, unkind looks, offensive words, envy await the crumb at every turn, and so want to protect him, spread the straw where possible, and of course, teach him to cope with difficulties on his own.
“Proper education is the only way out!” – Moms and dads decide and selflessly embark on a good cause. They build rules, establish laws … And do not notice how with the growth of pedagogical skills they lose their naturalness and sincerity. And in attempts to save the child from possible kicks of fate, adults, without knowing it, make serious mistakes. What kind?
Become flawless. Everyone knows that you should bring up not by notations, but by your own example. And many really try to become better in the name of the baby. Only some do it in an honest way, while others do it for fun. The latter simply do not know what laziness is, never indulge their weaknesses, do not quarrel and do not take offense, and watch TV only in order to get the news. At school, of course, they studied “excellently”, perfect order reigned in their rooms, they cooked their own breakfasts themselves and were notable for their indefatigable knowledge.
“Why do you say that with your son?” A friend asks me when I talk about how my boss told me off. She does not understand how you can show your child your shameful imperfection. “I, even if very upset about something, keep quiet with my daughter. I can, of course, sneak in the bathroom sneak in, but I’ll definitely go to her merry. Why would she know that mom is sad? ”And her daughter doesn’t suspect that this ideal mother loves chips,“ soap operas ”and hates washing dishes.
But! A child will not learn to accept his own shortcomings if everyone around him is perfect. He also does not learn sympathy and respect for others, if he does not see that other people are in pain and in failure. And, importantly, he will not learn to forgive, if there is no one to forgive him.
TIP. Be yourself. If there is a reason, allow yourself to be sad or angry. Explain to your child the reason for your experiences in words that are clear to him. He will appreciate your trust.
BTW …Want to be a role model? Follow the rule: mom needs to respect dad, and then the child will obey both, and dad will love mom, and then the child will love both.
Strive to make life easier for the child
At first, adults do everything for the baby, and after they reproach him, “You can’t normally tie the laces!”, “You can’t dress quickly!”. Moms and dads do not understand that complicating life for a child is unnecessary care, because if children are easily forgiven for mistakes, then much higher demands are placed on adults.
“In life I still suffer!” – said grandmother. Any my whim was fulfilled, and the desire was the law. I am ashamed to confess, but until ten years I could not wash my plate and remove the bed! Once we went to a picnic with the class, and I was asked to cut bread. To my shame, I failed to do this and became the object of ridicule from classmates.
Ho! A child will not develop patience if he immediately gives him everything he wants; will not develop courage and optimism, if it does not face face to face with trouble; will not develop perseverance and strength, if all is given to him easily.
TIP. It is necessary to understand that mistakes are taught faster than a thousand words: you can say many times that the iron is hot and cannot be touched, but you can be given the opportunity to burn yourself lightly once so that the child gets an experience that he will remember for a lifetime.
They want instead of a child. Modern parents, who grew up in an era of scarcity, dream that their child has more reasons for joy. And therefore, they don’t spare money for entertainment and expensive development centers, they buy toys that they themselves could only dream about … So, among the fascinating activities and entertainment, little Nekhochukh grows up, because all this luxury appeared much earlier than his ripe desire to get something.
But!A child will not develop his creative potential and activity, if he is used to what others want for him.
TIPWe are surprised to find that children do not show such interest to adults as toys, what to do? Do not rush things. Let your child want something for real. Remember how you yourself once dreamed of a new doll for months, and your favorite cartoons had the opportunity to watch only once a week.
BTW …Do not “save” the child from boredom. Everyone must go through this state, because it is thanks to him that creative potential develops.
Criticized and scoldedIn attempts to motivate the child to good behavior, parents often resort to completely unthinkable methods, sincerely believing that they are doing the right thing. They make fun of the kid, make caustic remarks, criticize and chastise him with strangers … But the child is insulting and incomprehensible – what did he deserve?
But!One day, the child will conclude that